Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
should my penis look like a turkey
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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