...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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