There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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