omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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