Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize