party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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