Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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