When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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