I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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