we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize