My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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