I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
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Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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