ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
In America we eat man semen.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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