are you so shy because you have an std?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize