The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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