ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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