"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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