The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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