I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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