So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize