He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize