im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize