I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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