The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize