I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
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I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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