I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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