I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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