You made me cry and you don't even care
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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