I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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