so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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