I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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