we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize