and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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