Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize