I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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