i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize