hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize