you would pick up someone in the library
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You are the jesus of drinking
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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