4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize