Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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