Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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