My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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