is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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