i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize