Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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