My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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