My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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