...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it hurts more in the daytime
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize