He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize