My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize